Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Randomize
