I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Randomize
