Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
home. puking in laundry basket.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
