i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
