i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
i would one night stand the shit outta him
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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