I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
