Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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