I didn't shave. On purpose
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
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