youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
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