Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
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