im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
