We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
