dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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