Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
