i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
