I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
it hurts more in the daytime
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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