you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
