and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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