I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
