my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
areolas are like halos for boobs.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
