if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
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