Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize