I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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