A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
you never un-have a 4some
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
