Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
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