doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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