So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Randomize
