You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
