Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
