I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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