i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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