You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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