wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
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