Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Randomize
