That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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