pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
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