I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
