how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
