That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
