thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
