Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
zippers are such a cool invention
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
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