So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
just come out here and I will go home with you...
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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