the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
