3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I could fuck to npr.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
