Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Randomize
