hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
