I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
