Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Randomize
