I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
