idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
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