normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Randomize
