i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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