To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Randomize
