I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
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