I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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