yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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