HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
