At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
