Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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