he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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