I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize