Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Randomize
