Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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