well most of my day revolves around power hour
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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