Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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