Moan for me like Helen Keller
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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