I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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